Fostering while working

Ruth has been fostering for over six years, on her own. In that time, she has welcomed almost 20 young people into her home. Most of the young people have been teenagers, but Ruth has also helped siblings as small as 2 and 3 years old.

She shares why she became a respite foster carer, and how rewarding the role is.

What inspired you to become a foster carer?

"I had thought about fostering. But as a busy, single, woman with her own photography business, I assumed it couldn’t be an option. I couldn’t afford to give up work and, to be honest, I didn’t want to, I love my job." Explains Ruth.

"But as my three children grew up - went to University, had gap years and jobs, the thought of fostering resurfaced." Ruth wasn't ready for this part of her life to end, and wanted to help more children.

"I absolutely loved bringing my children up. It was a fun, amazing and joyous experience."

This is common, a lot of our carers begin fostering as their own children leave the nest. Including Angela and her husband, who have 6 children and 11 grandchildren of their own.

Ruth decided to become a respite foster carer

Essex County Council offers different types of fostering. Respite foster carers help other foster carers and birth families care for children. This can be for one weekend a month, or during school holidays. 

"Due to my career, and my love for rowing which needs commitment to training, I signed up for respite and emergency foster care. This type of fostering fits into my life. It gives me the flexibility to care for children when I’m not away with work."

What is the most rewarding part of fostering?

Being a foster carer is an incredibly rewarding role. Ruth has seen for herself the difference she makes for the young people. She even credits her cat, Buttons, for helping to break the ice when a new child comes to stay!

"It's so rewarding when a child starts to interact, after not being able to talk to or look at you

“They go from being quite agitated, to asking questions and choosing to sit with you. You see them start to relax and feel calm again. It's nice for them to be away from the stress at home, giving them time to breathe and feel safe. A break can do wonders for their wellbeing."

Ruth uses her own experience to empathise with the young people

"My own experience as a child, was unsafe and not happy. I was frightened a lot at home and didn’t want to be there. When I was younger, I vividly remember a lady down my street who used to invite me in for a chat. I was away from the aggression at home and it left a lasting impression.

"I wanted to offer young people the positive experience I didn’t have. Also, I felt it would be useful to understand why they feel unsafe, it has helped me identify with the young people.

"I let them start the conversation, and lead with what they are comfortable with. They get talked 'at' a lot but are often unheard or consulted. I want to show them that I am interested. That I can hear them."

Finally, what would Ruth say to anyone thinking about fostering?

“This type of fostering fits into my life, and has greatly enhanced it too. It gives me the flexibility to care for foster children depending on my workload at the time. I guess that would be my biggest bit of advice if you decide to foster. Be clear on exactly what time you can offer. Then, the fostering team can match you with the right type of foster care, resulting in the most joyous experience for you”.